This is a hoax answering machine message that many schools would have if they could!
There is always more than one side to everything!
Men are just happier… But why?
NICKNAMES
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. (more…)
Aussie Computer Terms
Here in Australia we think about things a little differently and some of us are yet to understand this crazy internet thing. Here are the “outback” interpretations of some common computer terms.
- Log On: Make the Barbie hotter.
- Log Off: Do not add any more wood.
- Monitor: Keeping an eye on the Barbie.
- Download: Get the firewood off the back of the Ute. (more…)
UCLA study reveals insights into women
A study conducted by UCLA’s Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is, in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected.
Tiger reappears photo and more jokes…
Well in the interests of tasteless opportunism we are going to hop on the bandwagon and publish this round of Tiger Woods jokes.
What the hell. He’s really rich and unfaithful. (more…)
The Last Ten Things Men Would Ever Say
Men. We love em and need them, but somehow they just seem so damn consistent sometimes.
I heard a joke recently:
“Women love the simple things in life. Like Men.”
So here are 10 things that Men are most unlikely to say. Ever. (more…)
I Think I’ve spoken to him many times – Microsoft Tech Support!
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India
The Personnel Manager said, ‘Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job.’
Mujibar said, ‘I am ready’
The manager said, ‘Make a sentence using the words Yellow,Pink and Green.’
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, ‘Mister manager, I am ready’
The manager said, ‘Go ahead.’
Mujibar said, ‘The telephone goes green, green , and I pink it up, and say, ‘Yellow‘, this is Mujibar.”
Mujibar now works as call centre manager for TELSTRA problems. (Telstra is a telephone company in Australia)
No doubt you’ve spoken to him.
Giving up wine – a funny short story
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. (more…)