Home Remedies – some crazy tips and tricks

Posted on 2nd July 2009 by Susan in General Silliness

I’m a big fan of home remedies, as I’m sure you are too. These ones are particularly ingenious!

  • Vintage Ad #508: Mmmm, Vaseline!If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
  • Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
  • Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
  • High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your arteries.
  • A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
  • If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be too afraid to cough.
  • Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
  • You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the duct tape.

NOTE: Do not try these things for real.

I Think I’ve spoken to him many times – Microsoft Tech Support!

Posted on 26th February 2009 by Herrin in Jokes & Funny Stories

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indian-guy-microsoft

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India

The Personnel Manager said, ‘Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one.   Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job.’

Mujibar said, ‘I am ready’

The manager said, ‘Make a sentence using the words Yellow,Pink and Green.’

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, ‘Mister manager, I am ready’

The manager said, ‘Go ahead.’

Mujibar said, ‘The telephone goes green, green , and I pink it up, and say, ‘Yellow‘, this is Mujibar.”

Mujibar now works as call centre manager for TELSTRA problems. (Telstra is a telephone company in Australia)

No doubt you’ve spoken to him.

A store that sells new husbands

Posted on 18th February 2009 by Susan in General Silliness

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cool

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: (more…)

True Friendship “Aussie Style” None of that Sissy Crap

Posted on 13th January 2009 by Susan in Raunchy Stuff

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Are you tired of those piss weak ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card –  Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship. (more…)

Hows Your Day Going? – Cats and Humans

Posted on 21st October 2008 by Susan in General Silliness

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You think your cat is just a freeloader? Think again.

They go through all the same things we humans have to endure it’s just they do it with slightly more style. Watch as we take you through the challenges of being a feline in our world with all the stresses and worries as well!

First you had trouble getting out of bed 001301c92b4f10f3be70dcc21dd3 (more…)

The Email Email – My Neorosis for the new year

Posted on 22nd December 2007 by Susan in General Silliness

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Dear All

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year……..

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. (more…)